It's really funny how some things that happen in our lives can be like scenes from a movie. I woke up really late today. I found Mama cooking for lunch. I know she hasn't forgotten yet what she'd seen last night so I began helping her with the vegetables and started trying to cheer her up. I was trying to get her into a conversation so I can be sure she's not mad at me. But in vain. She answered all my questions dismissively. While I was industriously preparing the table for lunch, and in my last attempt, I asked her mindlessly: "Ma, anong date ngayon?" (ma, what date is today?) , "Seven." "Seven?" I repeated... Suddenly, my subconscious mind was awakened and it has taken me somewhere. It was like memories were flashing back through my very eyes. The neurons in my head had begun working faster.. It was the longest three seconds of my life.Then all of a sudden, as if on cue, the Divine Providence sent exactly who I was actually thinking about.
"Kuya, may naghahanap sa'yo!" (someone's looking for you! )Lael's voice came from outside the house. On impulse, I went to my room to get my cap and ran to the gate but no one was there. My fingers were beginning to get numb. I went outside and stood in the middle of the street, but I see no one. "Kilala mo?", ( you know who it was?)"Hindi, pero parang nakita ko na sya." (no, but i think i've seen her before) I'm not really sure, but for some reason, my body's shaking. I could feel myself trembling. What's going on with me? It's as if my body's acting impulsively on something I wasn't even sure. Slowly, I began to walk back the front door. Then I heard a familiar voice calling me.
Holy shit. My instinct was strangely right. Shiela is back. I just couldn't believe it. This is crazy. How in the world did I do that? Since I heard that 'seven', her face was the first thing that registered in my mind. And the cap? I wouldn't be running to my room just to get it before I face a visitor coz I don't usually mind my hair getting caught in a bad shape by anyone. Not anymore, at least. That was something I used to do when I was younger, two years ago specifically, and this was the first time Shiela came in my house since we broke up in December 2002, (though her family moved in Cavite just this year) which was two years ago. It was totally odd, really mysterious. I mean, this has never happened to me before and man, I couldn't possibly have a third eye, right? Yeah. that would be ridiculous.
So there she was, and am I so happy to see her again. She said she'd arrived on Friday from Japan. Two days earlier than I've expected. She sat with us at the dinner table though she said she already had lunch. And I still can't stop feeling uncomfortable. I couldn't look at her directly and with my Mama between us, I wasn't really sure what to say. I don't really know, but I wasn't able to eat properly coz she was facing me and my spoon and fork were shaking. Then in one fleeting moment I had the chance to look at her in the eye and I didn't fail to notice that aside from her loud brown hair and her make up and the way she's dressed up, nothing's really changed in her. She's still beautiful.
She said that she wanted to see Donna (Muriel's out of town, her family's busy because her cousin, Angelito Nayan, had been held hostage in Afghanistan) but she just learned she's already working. I told her I can take her to where Donna works before I go to school. She said she and Rommel stopped contacting each other. I doubt.
After lunch, she left. She said she'll get some money from her relative who lives nearby. She asked me to see her there. I was looking at her as she walked away. Damn. She's gotten a nicer butt. Again in my life, I began imagining how the things might go today with her. I've been thinking already were I might take her. It's been so long since we've been alone together. I was actually getting ready to consider not going to school today. But I kept telling myself to be careful and not to expect anything much. But I couldn't ignore the fact that one thing still remains to be seen and one thing still remains to be true, until now: Of all the girlfriends I had before, she's still the one I missed most.
About twenty minutes later, as I was just about to take a bath, she texted me. She apologized, she said I don't need to take her anymore because she's somewhere else and she said she missed me. I didn't bother asking her, because I think I know exactly where she was. All I managed to say was; 'i missed you too.' Then, as if again on cue, the 29th song on the Magic 89.9FM Countdown played on the background. I miss you by Boyz II Men. (in perfect timing) Great.
"Everytime I fall in love, and my heart gets damaged, I never
really fully recover.. That's why I get careful to be involved.."
-Julie Delpy, Before Sunset
*the translations were provided for the benefit of my friend, Andrew John Trapani (yes, we have the same name) from Sta. Cruz, California.