the perfect gift
I just filed my resignation letter minutes ago. Of course, it came as a long and slightly hard decision. ICT has been the very first company that hired me and I will forever be grateful for that. I have also made good memories here that I will surely keep.
About two weeks ago, I was really upset with my supervisor about my schedule, which somehow helped me made the decision, but after I sent in my resignation letter, I think I wouldn't want to think about that anymore. When I look back, I want to see my colleagues as the people who have helped me deal with my first job and as the friends I made, and will always have.
Up to now, the biggest thing that affected my choice is my school. For another time, I failed the last two remaining subjects I had, having dropped the other one a few weeks earlier. I came to a point where I think had to do something (did you say "just now?"), and I know this is the only way. Now, I won't have an excuse to keep myself from studying real hard and I think it's high time I get the focus and concentration I always needed but either refused to or completely never had. The perfect gift I get for my birthday this year is the gift I give myself.
In retrospect, I talked about the things I wanted to achieve when I entered the call center industry more than a year and two months ago. All I wanted was to prove something. To prove what I can do when I really wanted it and to prove that I can make people proud of me because of what I am and not what they think I am, which most of the time I am not. After my stint, I think I've somehow gained the respect and the good feeling of getting credited for the things I rightfully deserve. I'd like to believe that I have somehow served my purpose. After this, I think I have been able to show my parents that I can do something without anybody's help and that I can stand on my own. On the other hand, I know I have yet to prove that I can finish my studies and that's what I will try to work on right now, and hopefully with my undivided attention.
Speaking of my birthday, it will be in a few hours and as of this moment, there is no sign that a celebration is about to happen. On the contrary, things are getting a bit devastating that leaves my forthcoming birthday unnoticed. Just yesterday morning, a cousin of Papa was stabbed to death a few blocks away from my house. It is now under investigation and I was not allowed to go home after work, which ends every midnight (compelling me to stay again at the employees' quarters). Of course it would be selfish of me to still think about myself but with the expected unannounced arrival of visitors tomorrow (which will still be the 15th, but being the Saturday), I think I'll be needing Muriel (who incidentally, also had her birthday a few hours ago, July 14) and my other friends to help me do the cooking. I think my parents will be too busy by then. I just hope we do the spaghetti right.