my dismal yearender
Thursday, December 30, 2004 @ 5:38 PM 1 comments

2004 has not been for me. It may sound overly theatrical but it's true and with all the things that's going on around right now, (the tsunami and the Quezon landslides, etc.) I can't imagine anyone saying otherwise and anyone who'd do that must be strangled to death instantly, lest s/he is a Starstruck survivor or a SCQ Grand Questor. As for me, the succeeding year had showcased more of my weaknesses and almost none of my strengths. My life had gone through very drastic changes in almost every aspect thinkable.

KICKED OUT.. In the first quarter of the year, third Quarterm sys in Mapua, I met catastrophe with a slap-in-the face report card bearing another kicked out status. It was the third consecutive summer it has happened and I had to go through the whole tedious readmission process once again. The humiliation and shame I got in lining up in that Customer Service Office, which becomes exclusive to students who get kicked out every other term(as if we were some sort of disturbed youth) seeking for readmission approval, is nothing compared to the humiliation and shame I brought once again in the family. Until now, my mailing address on my school records has the wrong house number, though I've talked twice already to that stupid section chief of ours to correct the mistake in vain, which means they'd be sending my grades again to my wickedly nosy neighbor who in turn, would hand me the obviously re-sealed letter containing my grades with a triumphant snort. Apparently, the appeal was approved without my parents knowing that it was already the third time I had to beg the school to admit me again. They never learned about the first one, and that's not something I'm trying to brag about.

VACATION GONE WRONG.. The half a month summer vacation is something I always looked forward to. We planned with the Silversoul, and even Ranna, to go to Bicol but due to their expected last-minute excuses, only Jules and I pushed through. Because of the drastic change in plans, we didn't have any bus reservation tickets because we originally planned to take the train to get a different adventure. Just before the dawn broke in the Holy Wednesday of the Holy week, my sister who tagged along, (because our parents went ahead of us aboard a convenient bus) Jules and I headed to the shockingly deserted PNR station somewhere in Tondo only to find out that the first train departs at 4pm, not 4am like what the operator told Jules the night before. We hurried to Pasay to look for a chance passenger ticket because my sister had gone estatic, blaming us for the stupid idea of riding a train. So much for an adventure, we eventually ended up in an overloaded, poorly ventilated, rusting mini-bus! And as if that's not enough, I had to stand, almost kissing the other standing passengers, all the way from Pasay to Bicol! while the two of them had seats?! Wasn't that just so unfair?!

The vacation in its wholeness was almost a bore. The medieval thinking folks there refused to allow us to go to the Caramoan Island we've been exciting ourselves about over the Internet just a week before, they thought it was bad luck to go swimming before Easter Sunday, so we resorted to taking pictures in the woods at the back of the house throughout the whole week instead. They took us to the nearer overcrowded beach on the Easter Sunday and we only had the chance to get a glimpse of the city right before Jules and I headed back home, already on a comfy seat, shortly after the swimming.

Hosted by

NOT THE KING.. As if bad things are supposed to come simultaneously, I had to go the the last string of general rehearsals for the Mr.& Ms. Southside-Makati 2004 right after I arrived home. My normally dark skin had gone black because of the climate in Bicol which actually meant I got myself uglier for the competition which was in a matter of days. My considered closest rival was Rommel, Shiela's then boyfriend, who was a mestizo which is also the filipino conception of what is gwapo. The pressure was on the two of us, eversince the whole thing started as if it was made just for the two of us though it has 10 pairs of candidates. The mere fact that he was my ex's boyfriend created a stir in the malicious minds of the people thirsting for some fresh gossip. It was understandable then, that even we had following numbers (I was No.5 and he was No.6), there never had been a reason for us to talk or maybe we just ignored it even we had to sit together inside the bus on the way to/from the Swimsuit Competion in Laguna. Many wanted to know who would be the fitting King for the Queen connecting us. Shiela was crowned Ms.Southside-Makati 2002, when we were still together. Eventually, the answer had been: Neither. None of the two us won the title but I was at the unlikelier end. He went home with the 1st runner-up plum and majority of the awards, while I went home with nothing more than my circular shaped number sign.

Many questions arised after the pageant, none of them I was able to give an exact answer. And when I went down of the stage that night, everyone was looking at me as if trying to ask "What happened to him?". No more did I know the answer.

Behind that beautifully set-up stage, in the backstage, I was in a total mess. Out of the 20 candidates, I was the only one without a make-up artist. I know it would sound stupid if I'd say I didn't know I needed one but the staff told me the night before that there will be an official make-up artist. In the pageant night, I had to beg for the other candidates' make-up artists to do my face from time to time, because the modellings were done simultaneously. No one was there to help me fix my clothes because the organizer didn't allow Muriel to the backstage who could've been my assistant so in effect, I rushed my modelling, not even caring to smile. But there could never be anything worse than being in there alone with Shiela fixing Rommel's tie while I prepare for my talent.

Hosted by

After a few months in the third quarter of the year, the Silversoul frontrunners kind of disappeared one by one. It had almost been the longest time we had lost contact since we've started eight years ago and even Jules went out of sight. Of course, I have expected gradual disappearances of my friends to happen but I never anticipated it to happen too quickly.

When Anette reappeared, she already have a new boyfriend and so did Anne who has been seeing my Chuckie-look alike classmate, Louie. Muriel has gone steady with Rhandy and had finally moved on from her nerve wracking relationship with Santy. We had no news on Carl and Shiela has become an official Japayuki to the core while Beshe and Vanessa, official housewives.

I don't know if 2005's going to be for me. All I know is that I need to have a positive attitude everyday and being the pessimist that I am, I just don't know how to do that.

sea breeze
Wednesday, December 29, 2004 @ 1:15 PM 0 comments

I woke up very early but I still have to pretend to be sleeping. I still don't know what is about to happen and Jules is on his way to fetch me. He told me he'll be here at 7am while the others would have to wait at the lugawan along C5 road, that was actually our plan,but I've been holding my pee for what seemed like hours and no one has come to me to wake me and tell me he's arrived so I was forced to go out.

My father was in a funny mood. He's acting as if nothing had happened but I'm still not ready to talk to him. After I had my breakfast, my father went somewhere in the neighborhood and my mother asked me to go to the store, so I did while silently cursing Jules for not being there yet. It was already 9am and my dream of spending the day with the Silversoul is taking its early crash.

An hour before noon, my vacationing cousin, Hansel, arrived telling me that Jules finally arrived. When I got to the house, he was already talking to my father which proved to be a good thing because they always had a good impression on him. If they only knew better. And the two seemed to be understanding each other more than my father and I ever did. They somewhat compromised about the time I should be home which was actually ridiculous! I felt like a teenage 20th century bitch having asked permission by a suitor from the father for her first date. Yuck!

The day went on and we indeed had a great time together. As usual, many of those who promised to be coming, failed to do so but we were able to enjoy it just the same.

misinformation and my father
Tuesday, December 28, 2004 @ 3:04 PM 1 comments

Whoever said that 'Every father is a hero to his son' must be a fool. I never felt my father being a hero to me. I feel so sorry to say that but that's the fact. My relationship with him is bounded more by responsibility, dreams, obligations and my future being laid out on me rather than love, understanding and friendship.

I went to school earlier today to pay for my dues. My failure in having done so had kept me from enrolling before Christmas. To my dismay, the guards told me that the offices won't be opened before the class starts on January 3 meaning I will be a late enrollee. I felt so dumb, it didn't even occur to me to call the school before going there.

Realizing that my time had been greatly wasted on going to school for nothing, I went to Jules' place. It was his mother's birthday and we grabbed the chance for last minute preparations for the Silversoul excursion set for tomorrow. Hell, I haven't been able to tell my parents about it yet.

Arriving home, I found Mama playing on the computer, I told her about tomorrow and agreed with me when I told her I haven't been with my barkada for so long and we need time together, and this time might just be the right time. However, to my disappointment, she asked me to tell Papa about it yet. So I went to see him in the store. He was just closing it so I helped out then I told him afterwards as we were walking on our way to home and he began to be irritable.

He didn't talk much but I can tell he doesn't want to let me. They will be attending a wedding tomorrow afternoon and nobody's gonna be watching the store for him. I reasoned I've been manning that stinking store since my break started and I think I refuse to keep it that way until it ends. Eventually, I grudgingly went to bed early as I still hear them arguing about it. Later, Mama followed me and told me that Papa went back to the store. She guessed he will be sleeping there tonight.

He never really makes things easy for me. He's been so unreasonable since he lost his job a few years back and in that aspect, I fully understand him. I know exactly what he's going through but somehow, his actions are getting more worse every time. And what I don't understand is how he helps and care for other people and seem like some sort of an angel to them and don't have the same attitude to his own family. It's all ka-plastikan to me . I hate to see him help make other people's lives better and make a home miserable for me. He keeps a clean impression about our family that many people thought we have a near perfection relationship inside the house. But the the truth of the matter is, we are not like that. We never were. All of it is a beautiful facade with a hollow substance inside.

santa wasn't there
Sunday, December 26, 2004 @ 12:03 PM 0 comments

First time in my life that I hardly noticed Christmas pass by. First Christmas that my family didn't have the traditional Christmas dinner. First time my mother cooked a salty spaghetti.

It took me a while to realize it was Christmas. It was the next door kids, they were singing christmas carols outside as I watch them from the window and I began to imagine how Christmas used to exhilirate me when I was younger and I thought, maybe what they're telling us is true- Christmas is only for kids, and as you grow older, the world gets harsher and you won't notice anymore the simple things that makes you happy once in your life.

I was manning the store when the clock strucked twelve. I couldn't believe my father didn't want to close it down down on Christmas Eve and he needed someone to watch it for him and this time, I was his best pick. My sister also had her first Christmas outside the house. She is working at a Japanese Restaurant in Glorietta which apparently don't give Christmas offs.

While I was in the store, I'm sure my parents were fighting back in the house. I heard them arguing about something earlier. My father wanted his constituents (who, through his oh goodness, got to have a land of their own in our place. I'm not talking about just one family. I'm actually talking about a community here and my father just loves them, or maybe he's investing too much to provide for his own future interests. He is a frustrated politician.) to celebrate Christmas in the house which my mother strongly refused. We all know very well how those people drink to death. They are a bunch of filthy drunkards who in some times wet themselves to whatever they were sitting at when they get really intoxicated. My mother wanted to celebrate Christmas exclusively with the family.

At 1 am my father arrived and I had to drink with my cousins (who were never really close to me) for a while before they let me go. I didn't go directly to the house because I felt sure everyone's getting to bed already so I looked for Muriel. I found her with Randy and the other pals near the billiard station. I joined them in beer-drinking and didn't go home before 5.

I used the back door to get in the house. It was bad enough that we didn't have dinner together without my mother knowing that I looked for Christmas somewhere else. I have decided to tell the first one that would ask me in the morning that it was he/she who opened the door for me and accuse him/her of sleep walking. I sat in the table alone, pretending they were not sleeping and they were having dinner with me but it was hard, Mama must have been really angry with Papa, I used to love the way she cooked my spaghetti, but this time it was way too salty and I ended throwing up my Christmas dinner. The first spaghetti I disliked in my life.

m.e. night
Tuesday, December 21, 2004 @ 6:35 AM 0 comments

Nonchalantly, I took Santy with me at the M.E. night. If not for the incentives Engineer Aviso promised, I won't surely be coming. I heard many complaints about the choice of date for the event and many assured me that it won't be as fun as it used to be because most of the students would already be enjoying their Christmas breaks by December 19. I called Ranna and asked if it would be ok that I won't be taking her with me at the M.E. night anymore. I explained what I was thinking and she relented.

At 9pm Santy and I arrived at Pier One in Buendia and I realized I made a mistake. M.E. night was in no way better than the C.E. night and only half in number of half of the people that went in Metro Bar for the latter were there in the former. It wasn't exactly the way that I had expected it to be, though I had second thoughts about coming but it's a good thing that the food was really good.

It seemed to be like an exclusive Christmas party for the PSME (Philippine Society Of Mechanical Engineering) officers and only four people I actually know were there (Santy not included) and I could see in their faces that they were bored in as much as I was. They(the officers) played Beer-Drinking-through-a-funnel race over and over again and they used the unclaimed food stubs as prizes. And after we have consumed all our stubs, we left the lifeless crowd and walked to the nearby Star City.

a japayuki's home
Saturday, December 18, 2004 @ 4:42 AM 0 comments

The original plan was to meet Anette and Jules in Edsa and I promised Anette to buy her liempo for lunch, but since I woke up late, then again, she went ahead of us to Cavite. Both Marvin and Shiela live there and we planned to go together but it was already afternoon when Jules and I arrived in Cavite and there was no more time to meet Marvin and Anette.

Shiela's house is actually the product of her work in Japan. If not because of the bad image of Japayukis, she might have been considered noble. It's nice to know that all her siblings go to school and all dependent to her. It (the house) wasn't anything out of the ordinary but it's always better to have a house you call your own than to rent one. She showed us her pictures in Japan which either showed her in a magnificent Japanese nature backdrop or sitting in her customer's lap which made me really uncomfortable looking at them.

After having dinner there, the three of us left with a heavy luggage. She will be fetching her Japanese 'friend' from the airport and he will be staying at a hotel somewhere in Roxas Blvd. with Shiela (I presume, because she won't be needing the luggage if otherwise, right?) and they would sleep together in a queen size bed. So she tells me she'd never slept with a Japanese man before? I'd bet she knows me better to believe that crap.

Since it was too early for 11 pm (sakang's arrival time), we decided to have a snack over at the McDonald's in Baclaran. There, she used the same bathroom we did because theirs was unavailable at the moment. Jules and I were both strucked to move when a crew entered the bathroom while Shiela was talking boisterously inside the single stall. He went directly to the door of the stall and opened it, mindlessly. Shiela's scream marked the surprise.

Shiela opened up again about us when we were already seated, she told us she remembered the time when someone told her that I said I was having doubts that I was the first man she'd ever slept with and I also allegedly said that the only reason why we became lovers was because she thought I was rich. It surprisingly annoyed me-maybe the way she told me- and we began arguing about it. I don't remember having said the latter but I admitted I said the former, which I guess is normal for any sexually-active teenage guy and I can't possibly relate the reasons that led to the doubt in a fastfood chain, right?.

We took a cab and left her at the airport's waiting area. The monitors said that the Japanese flight had already arrived. Unknowing where to go next, Jules and I rode a jeep that we thought would take us to Taft but didn't so we walked over to where we thought the way to the Baclaran LRT station could be, only to ride a pedicab again and shell out another 20 bucks only to get us back where the jeep dropped us off. It was drizzling and the night wasn't turning out so good and Jules was already in a bad mood for having to pay 20 pesos and still walk to the LRT because the driver said he can't take us there.

I texted Mench and asked her to meet us at the Baywalk. She went mad because she said I've been lying again, She doesn't believe me when I told her I went to Cavite with my family because she thinks I went to see someone else. She was talking about Jen not Shiela, she wasn't supposed to know Shiela's in the country. Eventually, she arrived at the Baywalk way ahead of us and we stupidly got lost reaching Kalaw Street and had to walk back. We found her in one of the benches there, smiling though obviously mad and it only got worse when I mistakenly called her 'My' short for Mommy (a term of endearment I used for Shiela) on my supposedly first attempt to talk. I was able to talk that out but that was not the first one I had to throughout the night. Just as she began to smile again, Jules received a text message, while sitting beside her, and while I was a few meters away playing with a statue. And when I got back to them the atmosphere returned to serious mode, more so this time. Mench saw who the texter was and she was looking at me like a mother catching her son redhanded. It was Shiela and she knew where we were and she wanted to meet us. I had to pretend I knew nothing about it and surprised that she was here, but that didn't actually worked.

Mench is damned angry this time. She thinks it was a set-up so I asked her to take a walk with me. At first she was stubbornly hesitant and adamantly told me to stay because she wants me to see Shiela face-to-face so I asked Jules to keep her stay put when she arrives. I talked to her while we were walking as she said nothing. The silence made me extremely uneasy so I forced her into talking which was a mistake because she cried in her failed attempt to talk. God, she cried and that's when I've realized how large the damage I have done already.

I was miraculously able to settle it (whew!) and she even apologized for being too jealous and I told her she didn't have to do that. It was all me. We found Jules sitting by the bay ad he told us that Shiela changed her mind because of her guest as I felt Mench breathed heavily. We sat at one of the tables at Cafe Adriatico and the both of them ordered Mango juice while I settled for beer. Later, the singer asked someone in the audience to sing while he play the guitar. Then came another one, then- me. Jules whispered to a waiter to have me sing, with Mench's prodding. I wasn't at all shy, as Jules told me not to be but I was actually rather scared. The second singer was great in that Southborder song and the people might think I'm that good, too. Finally, I stood there on the podium beside the singer and made a message for Mench (which later I realized, she didn't hear) before I did True Faith's "Huwag na lang kaya?".

another day together
Friday, December 17, 2004 @ 3:41 PM 0 comments

It's the first day of the Christmas vacation and the Christmas spirit hasn't gone to me yet. It just doesn't feel like how Christmas used to be. Maybe I'm just growing older.

Shiela asked me to fetch her from Anette's house this afernoon and so I went to Pandacan, Manila to see them. Anette wanted us to stay longer but I needed to go to school for the compilation of reports in my ACDC lab class. I took Shiela with me to school only to learn that I was too late for it and Ms. Agpaoa told me it's alright if I didn't have it anyway, I just can hope that that means I'm passing the subject.

We stayed at Irene's dorm for a while and she left me and Shiela there because she said she still got an exam to run. Shiela undressed and changed clothes in front of me which understandably made me steamy but her seduction didn't last long. Just when I began to take advances, she stopped which rather told me we couldn't do it. Maybe she's just anxious because her Japanese 'friend' is coming back again to spend the holidays here, but it still wasn't fair. She can kiss me but I can't kiss her! it's still better than nothing though.

Around 6 pm, the two of us could be found in the Saver's Square mall in Edsa. She will be riding a van in front of the mall to Cavite, but seeing the long line of passengers, we decided to kill more time inside the mall. We pretended to be newlyweds and windowshopped for kitchen wares and house stuffs and after a good half an hour, we realized that there's no way the line of passengers will ever end so we joined the queue.

Eventually, we got to the start of the line with her ostentatious rantings about not having any good looking guys behind or in front of the line who she might get to meet inside the van on the way to Cavite- to the annoyance of the older women on the line who were looking at her with gritted teeth and looking at me with utmost pity for having a disgracefu girlfriend -or so they might have thought, because we were rather too close- like her. All I could do was settle with a sheepish smile to somehow thwart away the embarrassment of the moment. Her vulgarity may be the only thing evident of her work and it sometimes wind up a lot of people especially the conservative ones.

When I got home, I didn't have much to do so I watched Now that I have You which was highly recommended and lend by Jules. Yes, he's into those kind of movies. And yes, I somehow agree that it was ughh romantic, typical but funny. I just didn't like the part where those rose petals kept pouring over them. It just seemed so overly exaggerated. By the end of the movie, it was again around 4 am, my mother arrived and I pretended to be fixing something on my computer. I told her I was hungry so she asked me to buy pan de sal outside. I took my dachschund, Dagul with me for an early morning walk and it was only then that I've realized that the dawn mass starts today. I saw the people walking on their way to the chapel (which was situated -believe it or not- on top of a hill) as I made my way(with the dog) to the bakery.

I had breakfast (just before going to sleep) while Mama took a bath as the church bells began ringing. And then after two siopaos (due to the unavailability of pan de sal), I went to my room and dozed off as the ringing of the bells faded signifying that the first simbang gabi of the year has just started.

demented nerves
Thursday, December 16, 2004 @ 5:32 AM 0 comments

Just when I needed to be early for the 2nd and last day of my finals, my long lost friend/cousin, Joy, went to see me at my house yesterday morning just before I go to the bathroom to take my shower. She confirmed me the rumors, that's been going on around for weeks now, that her wedding which was scheduled on December has been called off. She said she has more to deal with her fiance's violent tendencies albeit she thinks Rene is still a good man, being simple as he is, but there still are certain issues that she wants to make clear before they finally 'tie the knot'.

We had a loooong discussion regarding different things and the people around us just like what we used to do and it is very interesting that for the past two years we never talked about anything without ending up talking about Shiela. And she didn't really seem adept at hurrying things up, we consumed two sticks each of cigarretes and another one for her before she finally allowed me to take a bath. However her sudden appearance was such a relief, she was the kind of person you can sit beside with and talk for hours, the kind of person you want to be with when all you can think of is rest, but this time, the timing was really off. She went with me on my way to school (she- on her way to her sister's house) which made the trip a bit longer than usual. I went down the Central Terminal of the LRT and that was just when I've realized how late I already was for my Strength of Materials finals. Joy really have her way of entertaining people to forget time.

Engineer Fabricante, as luck may have it, didn't seem at all mad with my tardiness in the middle of the Finals but I mindlessly arrived without a quiz booklet, due to my haste, which was required before taking the exam, so I hurried down the ground floor to the bookstore (not to mention that we were on the 4th floor at the farthermost building) and consumed another 15 minutes (because of the long line) of the 45 minutes left. When I came back, the room was already half-empty and I was forced to guess ALL my answers because I can't recall anything besides that the questions given were not the ones I've expected to appear in the finals.

After that, I had the easiest Finals of my whole college years in my Envi class. We were only asked to distinguish which kind of pollution does a certain term can be associated with. And at 5 pm, I looked for the room for my ACDC finals (I found out from the on-line finals sched yesterday that I got the wrong schedule and it wasn't conflicting with my Envi class) but I was disheartened to find there wasn't any. The finals they took in Engr. Ebojo's class (which I didn't) was already the departmentalized exam. This marks the end of my term.

Later in the evening, I met with Shiela, Jules, Anette and Marvin at the Ayala Billiards somewhere in between the Philippine Normal University (where Anette studies) and the Adamson University (where Jules and Marvin do) and had a little time together. They played billiards while Marvin and I did much of the beer drinking. I felt little annoyed and proud at the same time when people there noticed Shiela and Deceane (Anette's friend from school) even asked her name for one of them, but quickly blocked out by Anette, telling them that I was already her boyfriend- which I wasn't sure if they actually believed because Julius was sitting between the two of us.

We did a brief picture taking at the park in front of the Manila post office before we parted ways and I was able to come home relatively early (read: 11 pm) because Shiela needed to sleep over Anette's house and in that case they needed to go home early. I didn't feel much like going to bed after I had my midnight dinner so I made a little 'project' for myself. I made a photo mosaic for the Silversoul, mixing all the pictures we have together which I have in my computer . It took me very long to finish it because I wanted everyone to have equal share of pictures. At 4 am my mother arrived from the store and persuaded me to go to bed.

finals first day mayhem
Tuesday, December 14, 2004 @ 12:10 PM 0 comments

I'm wreaking havoc once again. My chances of failing my average in this term has improved. I woke up very early this morning for my 9am thermo final exam (I was surprisingly not groggy when I did, to think I'd only slept for three hours) only to get stucked in the dinner table for more than half an hour, I wanted to get full when I get to school so as not to get sleepy while taking the exam, so I ended up late just as usual.

I left almost half of my exam unanswered because Engr. Aviso refused to give me any extensions. I'm not even sure of those items I managed to answer, my mind was completely blocked from the lectures I've reviewed last night. And even Oswald's whispered answers didn't help much because after six hours, the results were out and I got 10 out of 50 items. (4% out of the 30% final exam criterion) God. I think I'm taking thermodynamics 1 again for the third time next term. Holy shit. I will be needing a miracle and the spirit of Christmas to pass the periodic average this term. I just hope the professors would remember it's the season of giving this month. C'mon guys, I've been in Mapua too long now, please, I'd never forget it til my grave if you'd let me pass.

Monday, December 13, 2004 @ 7:50 AM 0 comments

Finally, I've been able to see that movie yesterday and in a scale of 1-10, I'm giving it an 11. Primarily because, Angelina Jolie's there and Ranna would surely be furious if I would give any Angelina-movie with a rating lower than that.

I've been treating a really bad cold since Friday and I haven't been able to smell anything since. It makes me feel so drowsy everytime I try to study which gives me more excuses not to. My finals will be starting tomorrow and I'm not really sure if I'm already prepared for it. The Quarterm system is beginning, yet again, to annoy me.

I think I'm failing that stupid ACDC class because Engr. Ebojo did not allow me to take the last quiz for the term because I came late. It made me convinced about the failing grade that I did not take the finals in his class. I'm not yet sure if I will take his departmental exam because it will be conflicting schedules with my final exam in my Environmental Sciences class and Engr. Ebojo will surely not give me any special exams. I think the fucking git hates me.

caught this time
Friday, December 10, 2004 @ 10:25 AM 0 comments

Anne toured me, Jules and Santy to the whole of the Far Eastern University really late last night. We made an Oscar-winning performance by pretending to be members of the band to be granted entry. We were waiting for Sheina(Jules new girlfriend) who was in her band practice at the FEU grounds, and we needed to kill time. And Santy's assessment about the exclusive tour was... 'boring'.

We received a text message from Anne inviting us to Paolo's (one of Anne's gay friends) house earlier because she said they were celebrating fiesta. Pao's house is near Santy's so we opted to go, just to find out that Sheina needed to go back to the FEU for their band rehearsal at 9pm. So we went with them, with their promise that we'd be drinking after that in Pao's house.

It proved to be a waste of time because we ended up in Anne's house instead doing nada so I just took my own time sleeping in the couch, waking up 30 minutes later with a head/toothache, no booze in my body and it's time to go home. Worse, I had to endure the whole night the suspicious stares from Pao and I felt certain that he's the one I least liked among Anne's gay friends. I think he thinks I'm also gay. I even heard him ask Anne once on a previous occasion if I am a 'pa-mhin' which later I realized to be meaning 'playing it straight' in gay lingo. He gives indirect questions that could more likely be connected to that Globe tagline; "Are you one of us?"He's really pissing me off and I feel so sick everytime he looks at me, it makes me really uncomfortable, it was as if every movement of my body is being monitored and it makes me want to poke him in the eye.

Five minutes before the clock hit 4 this morning, I was on my heels, running on the main street of our place, down to the next two blocks to reach our gate, only to see Mama closing the front door behind her (she sleeps in the store, with my father since it opened). I got away with a great lie that I came from a group study and luckily she didn't get mad. She even offered to cook for me if I wanted to eat and it really made me feel bad that I had to lie to her (again). If only she came a little later, I could've ran to my room before she got in the house. tsk. tsk.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004 @ 12:00 PM 0 comments

I've used all up my allowance five days ahead before my new allowance comes in. I had no choice but to get help from other people because I don't want my parents to think that I'm irresponsible regarding my finances which is actually true, because I've been really spending a lot lately.

Jules gave me money for Monday and Mench lend me for the next two days. God Bless the two of 'em.

today is ranna's birthday
Tuesday, December 07, 2004 @ 2:55 PM 0 comments

The following is the Friendster testimonial I've given Ranna last 07/28/04...
A few months ago, I made the first entry for Ranna's testimonials, but for some reasons it suddenly disappeared., we became closer since.. I truly enjoyed those moments being with her, and I daresay -every second of it.. now here are the things I can say about her..

>she's extraordinary, she's a campus headturner, she's an angelina jolie freak, she's a certified movie buff, she claims to be vain, she's conscious about what other people think about her, she's got a long-time crush for someone having a country for a name, she loved maltesers chocolate for a time last year, she doesn't like flowers, she uses a red pucca wallet, she hates it when the electric fan destroys her hair, she has a wide collection of dvd's, she wears enormous earrings in school, she's a good swimmer, she has a fantastic sense of humor, she's a great actress, she's an exceptional fashionista, she claims to have 'no sense of direction', she knows exactly the most expensive among her things, she's got the hots for jude law,she's very generous, she hates suitors who texts 'chummy' lines, she's a popular face who claims to be an outcast, she always say she's lazy,she prefers rock music over mushy love songs,she buys vodka at 7-11, and consumes it alone, she's a paranoid over things regarding school, she's an optimist over things regarding life, she likes walking around alone, she's a socialite, she walks 10 steps per second, she prefers riding a jeep over fx, she's a devoted patron of the lrt, she thinks 'the prince and me' movie should only be seen on tv,she talks about things-the positive way always, she doesn't have an official religion, she's a self-confessed cheater, she never speaks profane words, her ability to be emotional come in rare, but meaningful, she hates the rainy season, she loves summer, she proclaims a stunning presence, she's oftentimes oblivious of her surroundings, she's a computer fluent individual, she rarely absent herself from school, she frequently comes late, she's a girl scout, she always keeps an umbrella inside her bag, she gets crazy sometimes, she hates being referred to as 'geek' and 'tahimik', she keeps a must-do list which she intends to fulfill before her marriage, she knows everything about new york city, she wants to live in a tall building someday, she hates alanis morisette and michelle branch, she wants to play guitar, she's very beautiful, she's got beautiful eyes, she's the reason I go to school, she's all I wanted, she makes me happy, she's the love of my life..

The title was made in fashion with Mitch Albom's The five people you meet in Heaven; the most recent book I borrowed from Ranna.

@ 2:56 AM 0 comments

ran Posted by Hello

black man at the c.e. night
Wednesday, December 01, 2004 @ 5:34 AM 0 comments

I had a hard time choosing what to wear since I called Ranna the night before yesterday. I couldn't think of any of my clothes that she hasn't seen yet so I ended up mixing two of my usual clothes. And the way she told me that she's dressing up for the occasion because she doesn't want to get 'mapahiya' only made me feel pressured even more.

I came late, again because I had to meet up with Jules that afternoon and because of Menchie's call telling me that she's waiting for me outside the Mapua gate just right after Ranna texted me that she was there, too at the very same time. I told Mench to follow me at SM and told her I can't stay for long with her because I had to go to the CE night. As the kind person she was, she understood and she went home. I met with Ranna at 8 pm with my still damp hair. I just came from Irene's place and took a shower and changed my clothes. (She gave me the keys to her room that afternoon because I told her I need a place to change that night)

We went first to the Cafe Adriatico in Baywalk at Roxas Blvd. (the very same place where I took Mench a week before) because I didn't have a ticket to the C.E. (Civil Engineering) night so we had to go there really late in the hope that the organizers won't notice. It was the first time we drank liquor together and that's where I learned that the paparazzi bureau in the CE department calls me the 'black man'. No, not because I'm dark, but because I usually wear black.

The lady singer I was bragging the place about wasn't there and another male singer (who didn't have a very good choice of songs) replaced her. A large boat shimmering with lights passed by the Manila Bay behind me and Ranna had me noticed it. She asked me to remember that very moment when I watch the Before Sunrise CD she'd lent me.

At around 11 pm, we've decided it's time we go to the Metro Bar. We took a taxi and found the place in no time. The two guards who'd inspected made me a little nervous but I was able to get through the reception. It took me a few moments before it finally sank in me that I was already there. The candidates for the Mr. & Ms. CE-ENSE 2004 lined up the stage and one of them was Macy, the SK chairperson in our place.

We found our seats in the thin crowd while Ranna kept telling me "Eto na yun, ganito lang CE night namen.." And honestly, it didn't seem to be that fun, indeed. Not everyone in the crowd seemed to be happy with what their watching. I think the ME night gets a lot better than that, I've never actually been into one, but I surely can tell, we're ME y'know. The CE's were a little too decent and sophisticated that it sometimes get in the way of having fun while the ME's, oh need-I-say-more?

The stand-up comedians in between the segments of the pageant gave the night's comic relief. They were the ones who roused the drowsing audience. I almost laughed my head out with the things they do to themselves on stage only to find out that Ranna, who was sitting beside me, is not very much into green humor, which was the main thing the comedians did.

We left right after the winners were announced. I don't know, but the way she looked, I guess she enjoyed the night less than I did. So the trip back home was really uneventful, I've been killing myself, thinking if it was me or the place we had just been. We went down of the taxi in Monumento together and there we parted ways.

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