misinformation and my father
Tuesday, December 28, 2004 @ 3:04 PM 1 comments

Whoever said that 'Every father is a hero to his son' must be a fool. I never felt my father being a hero to me. I feel so sorry to say that but that's the fact. My relationship with him is bounded more by responsibility, dreams, obligations and my future being laid out on me rather than love, understanding and friendship.

I went to school earlier today to pay for my dues. My failure in having done so had kept me from enrolling before Christmas. To my dismay, the guards told me that the offices won't be opened before the class starts on January 3 meaning I will be a late enrollee. I felt so dumb, it didn't even occur to me to call the school before going there.

Realizing that my time had been greatly wasted on going to school for nothing, I went to Jules' place. It was his mother's birthday and we grabbed the chance for last minute preparations for the Silversoul excursion set for tomorrow. Hell, I haven't been able to tell my parents about it yet.

Arriving home, I found Mama playing on the computer, I told her about tomorrow and agreed with me when I told her I haven't been with my barkada for so long and we need time together, and this time might just be the right time. However, to my disappointment, she asked me to tell Papa about it yet. So I went to see him in the store. He was just closing it so I helped out then I told him afterwards as we were walking on our way to home and he began to be irritable.

He didn't talk much but I can tell he doesn't want to let me. They will be attending a wedding tomorrow afternoon and nobody's gonna be watching the store for him. I reasoned I've been manning that stinking store since my break started and I think I refuse to keep it that way until it ends. Eventually, I grudgingly went to bed early as I still hear them arguing about it. Later, Mama followed me and told me that Papa went back to the store. She guessed he will be sleeping there tonight.

He never really makes things easy for me. He's been so unreasonable since he lost his job a few years back and in that aspect, I fully understand him. I know exactly what he's going through but somehow, his actions are getting more worse every time. And what I don't understand is how he helps and care for other people and seem like some sort of an angel to them and don't have the same attitude to his own family. It's all ka-plastikan to me . I hate to see him help make other people's lives better and make a home miserable for me. He keeps a clean impression about our family that many people thought we have a near perfection relationship inside the house. But the the truth of the matter is, we are not like that. We never were. All of it is a beautiful facade with a hollow substance inside.



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