I have black circles around my eyes. I could feel I really look wasted and worn out. I even think I could now be a model for that vitamins commercial where people look older due to stress. I barely slept for the past two days because Thursdays up to Saturdays are the busiest days of my week. I have 9pm to 1am shift every Thursday for work then 7:30 am class the next day then the perilous Machine Design 2 class come Saturday.

With my really tight schedule, I really can't have the time to work on my Design plates or even review my notes. And now that I'm spending a little more time with my friends again, I'm sure to fail if I allow it to become a regular habit just like before.

Mapua (or Malayan) right now, is seeking accreditation from ABET, a widely recognized accreditor of college/university programs concerned with applied science, engineering etc. In line with this, the test papers of students for every quiz or examination are being classified from the highest scores, mid-scores and the lowest scores. Three papers will be lifted from each of the three categories every time and will be sent to ABET in the States and will be studied for the mean, median and mode blah blah.

While it is good to imagine my penmanship (which is a part of me) will be able to go to the States, I wished the situation could have been better. My paper was one of those handpicked by Engr. Larrion of my Design lecture class after the first quiz. He never announced in class which of them will go to the highest or the lowest, but after comparing my scores with some of my classmates, I know for sure I was one of the lowest.



Menchie and I have finally decided to take our feeble relationship a notch higher last Saturday. I asked her if she was still happy with me, and I was devastingly shocked when she said yes because I don't really think we're getting somewhere (She's happy with that?!). I confessed that I don't feel that same way with her. She says we've been together for three years now but honestly, she's still a stranger to me. (Has anybody realized I almost never talked about her in my own blog?!) I know that I am partly to be blamed but I'm sure I always take the extra mile to know her more seriously, if not as a partner, as a friend at least and she knew she had an inkling I already feel that way but she still don't trust me you see. She says she's scared that I just might take her for granted if she lets me see how much she's really into me so she just chose to be just like that.

After a brief and calm emotional confrontation, and after I told her that I don't even know her middle name (to make her realize how much we're missing) and I was sure she doesn't know mine, too, I've finally convinced her that I'm ready to make something out of this thing we have and we settled for a compromise.

Then as fate would have it, only about 12 hours after, there she was again, -in the flesh and teasing my delicate weakness again.... Shiela. She's back. She arrived with Donna in my place, Sunday afternoon, a few seconds after Muriel informed me they would come and see me. Shiela said she's been calling me since she got back from Japan, but since my phone was stolen and she can't reach me, she looked for Donna's number instead who was at that time, enjoying her exile in Pangasinan, not Davao like I've heard.

Shiela took us all out for a treat that night, including my sister, Annalyn with permission from our parents who looked more excited than I am for her arrival. After wasting time going all the way to the Clamshell (WOW) in Intramuros, (since the place was almost deserted) we just had dinner there before heading back to Makati. We went to the Cable Car (reffered by my sister who, I didn't realize, knows a lot of gimmick places) near the Dusit Hotel and finally found a new hub for the Silversoul. It's got almost everything we need! Tako, Bilyar, Videoke at Songbook, Beer and nice food. The moment I entered that place, I knew that won't be the last.

I wasn't expecting myself to feel good with my barkada and my sister's watchful eye being around. That was the first time I've let her go out with us and it was fun. She jammed along and belted pam-birit songs with the Tres Mujeres (yes, Donna hit that I Love You Goodbye again).

Being there, I felt that I have been out of my senses once again. And I know I was taking Menchie for granted again for Shiela was acting like we're still together and I can't help being her willing slave. I didn't even mind kissing her right in front of my sister. I knew at the back of my subconscious mind, something's telling me that she's playing with me again, but the way she caressed my hand, the way she looked at me and the way she kissed me makes me feel otherwise. We did a few duets and the people there hugely applauded us after "Hanggang Ngayon". Very fittingly huh.

I hate it but I think Shiela still has the power to make me go insane. She was being very sweet but if this is her game again, I think I'm gonna play along and make sure to win, this time. DAAAAMNITTT!! I don't know anymore what I'm talking about. She is a total monster but I'm afraid I just might still love her.

Fast forward. Two days after, we're back at the same place again with Julius, minus my sister and Muriel. I called in sick for work just to be with them (or her) again. We did almost the same thing except for the finale open forum and the dares. At one point, Jules lost a bet and the consequence was she had to kiss Shiela, in my very presence. And watching him slowly leaning his face to hers, I was secretly cursing and telling myself that I'm in for no good with her if she lets him do that in front of me and that he's the monumental traitor if he would do it. And he did, they did... she did. She kissed my bestfriend. And who am I to complain anyway?! Game over.

When I first entered the RCBC Plaza last May, I was looking forward to finding new acquaintances, new friends and probably someone new to get intimately connected with. I wasn't a bit surprised to find myself the only guy in my team (considering Nix as an exception again) for our training, I thought it to be an advantage that I'll be having all the girls for myself.

The first person who caught my attention was Margaret. She was seated with Mabel by a round table at the center of the 19th floor pantry, looking apparently excited as I am. She really looked sleek and decent and with her long jet black hair, she has all the makings of a beauty queen.

I was more than delighted when she sat beside me at the training room. And from hour one, I tried to know many things about her as I possibly can, noting her every action while trying to figure out an impression. At first, she seemed very child-like and doesn't even seem to notice it. She throws out statements which makes my jaws drop and which makes her really different from a normal 18 year old girl. She is also extremely friendly, greeting almost every person who passes by her in the hallway and eventually gave a name to the computer she uses for work--'Joyce'. While Margaret is really fun and great to be with she seemed to lack the independence and depth I thought her to have. But later on she proved me wrong, she made me realize that first impressions are too superficial to be relied on and cliched as it is, she has proven that she is more than just a pretty face.

Back to the training room, two girls came barging in the room a couple of minutes after the training proper started. Frances and Joanne. Late in the first day of job?!! What?! I even barely slept because I was too anxious to come in late!!! and now they don't even seem to care?... I never knew a lady in her proper state of mind would come in late on the first day of her first job.

Given that, Joanne, who arrived in a sexy modern-corporate outfit, already gave me an impression. She is a girl who do as she pleases. Independent woman, as they say. On that first day, when everyone else is trying to find a connection with one another, I found an instant connection between me and Joanne- cigarettes. And during our pot sessions, I had the benefit of knowing her a little bit well. I found in her the maturity and experience that there are so many things we were able to talk about. I didn't get the feeling of thinking twice before saying anything because I felt that there was an instant chemistry between us.

As the days progressed, I found out some interesting (even shocking) things about these two ladies I've been observing. I learned some things that made me look at Margaret in a different light. I found out from Ross that Margaret is an orphan. And that explains why she was too happy when we got our first pay while I was on the other hand, infuriated (she used the money to pay for school) upon realizing how small it was. Her mother died of bone cancer a year ago and her father left when she was little. More to that, she is a nursing student (doing interns at the very same Ward, Surgery PGH, where I practically grew up), a student officer, an activist, a UP Maroon Pep squad member and on top of all that, she has a scholarship to keep.

With all these things filled up on me, I can't help but wonder how she manages to do all that. She became my instantaneous inspiration and knowing her struggles (considering the fact that she's a girl and only 18) made me feel ashamed of myself for constantly complaining about my life when she has more reasons to do that and yet she still always have that ready smile on her beautiful face for everyone.

Joanne on the other hand, with my regular schedule of taking her home, became much closer to me. I figured out that I made a mistake when I said she was independent. And as she corrected me, she isn't. While they are of the same age, she has the tendency of being dependent by choice, and Margaret is independent by chance. Almost every night after work, she would call or texty her Daddy that she's about to go home. Her maturity is still intact though, but it gets shielded by her playful behavior which makes her look more child-like in a cute sort of way than Margaret. She is the kind of girl I would usually go out with and I admit that for one moment, I thought of having that intimate connection with her but she seemed already better off with her boyfriend who is in ehem Japan. And of course, (Damn, I almost forgot) I'm still with Mench.

Now that Margaret is sitting beside me after Jeff moved to another workstation and after 'Joyce' got broken, I regret to say that for no apparent reason, we have lost that connection we once had back in our training. There seems to be an invisible barrier between us which makes me feel like we are as far from each other as we are from our clients. Almost all my attempts of a decent conversation with her ended with close ended answers (yes/no), and I don't know why (the smile is still there though). I only think she must be really taken by our work.

Joanne (top) and Margaret (bottom), equally gorgeous, equally stunning.

I have always been good about mixing strangers. Silversoul is a living proof to that. It is actually a mixture of my different friends that clicked being together, thus our group was formed.

My belief that I have a capacity to do that ended on my birthday last Saturday. The Silversoul and I actually planned to go clubbing that night after dinner over my house (we had food leftovers, [thank god it wasn't rocking salt and used cooking oil mixed with soy sauce] because they're arrival at the house was supposed to look like a surprise visit, my family was stunned to see that I have visitors after I told them in the morning that I won't be having any), but I had to change that when Bon and Rj requested us to go to Bon's place instead. He promised me that we could do the videoke there, which is actually the reason why they agreed to come.

It was too late when I realized it was a mistake. Roy did a very unwelcomed comeback and the Silversoul felt unwelcomed there, too. There was just no connection between the two groups, and with Menchie and Bon's now-official girlfriend/live-in partner, Rem being around only added tension among the girls.

It felt more sad when someone said that it could have been better if we just stayed at my place. They said my father really seemed to want to spend more time with us and it felt really sad that I have been more concerned about spending my birthday with other people than with my own family.

In the end, the two groups somehow made it to meet halfway. They must have figured out that it was my birthday after all and they tried at least to put that 'Happy' word into it.



Flipping blogs, I've found this interesting stuff over at blogthings.com.

Your Blogging Type is Unique and Avant Garde

You're a bit ... unusual. And so is your blog.You're impulsive, and you'll often post the first thing that pops in your head.Completely uncensored, you blog tends to shock... even though that's not your intent.You tend to change your blog often, experimenting with new designs and content..

My parents could never be happier. I failed three subjects and my father is out of sorts again. Now, he wants me to resign from my job but I vowed not to, unless PGMA would go down from her post too, so he needs to go to Ayala Avenue and join the hunger strikers there to make sure that she will resign. But since he's a pro-GMA, I don't think he would do that. In this new term, which started officially Monday, I bravely took 13 units, despite the fact that I could be a candidate again for kick-out if my next weighted average would be anywhere lower than 2.9. Gosh! It's too much for me, but I need to take this challange and do good or else.. I'm gonna commit suicide, swear!

For the 5th and hopefully the last time, I'm taking Thermodynamics again (I wonder how many times I've already written that "I'm taking Thermodynamics again" line in this blog) and I'm back to the very first one who flunked me in that subject, Engineer Anastacio. He was smiling when he learned I'm in his class and told me "Bilog ang mundo." He thinks it was funny, but I think he's insane, I wanted to tell him he got food in his teeth.

I haven't been able to catch up with my friends lately. Jules asked me over the phone if I still have a life. Well, for my one-week off from school, my life focused mainly on my job. I'm getting sick staring at my computer screen (or more) every night but I know I need this job and I'm not going to let it go, not in the near future at least. It's a good thing I'm enjoying my colleagues' company, especially when I take Joanne home almost every night. She thinks her life is in danger going home alone at night and she's convinced us that someone must take her home regularly until she resigns on the 22nd of July (her deddy asked her to resign, too) and that someone must be a guy which means that should be me, considering that I am the only one in the team (setting aside Nix). Thank God she's pretty and she's vava-voom. Otherwise, she could have never forced me.

Our recording last week caused a permanent damage in my being. I did a really horrible rendition of Ogie Alcasid's Sa Kanya, I wanted to smash the CD right after it was recorded but after seeing how good we looked on the cover, I changed my mind. It was frustrating though that only four of us in the Silversoul were able to come (Jules, Annette, Muriel and I) and as a result, we still weren't able to tell them about Carl's money. Stupid Santy, on the other hand, showed up few hours after the recording, claiming that he was already in Robplace two hours before the assembly time, it's just that he wasn't in the meeting place (watch my eyes rolling with a sigh). We met with Mench at the Ayala Billiards later that night and gave me another disappointment for a reason I can't make public.



Finally, my parents came home two nights ago. I could only heave a sigh of relief that they're back coz I don't think I could stand another day begging other people every morning for my daily 'baon'. I've realized this is the first time in my life that I've wanted them back home so badly.

They went back to Manila just about the time Menchie did. The bitch (kidding!) also went to Bicol without having the nerve to tell me. And also because I never called her up (and she has no way to reach me. He-he.) until last night. She brought some pili delicacies for me and Jules which he fetched from the salon were Mench worked (according to her it's odd that Jules have the time to drop by there while I never did, Ho-hum...).

My second pay has also arrived. I've already resigned to the fact that I can never make my salary to 4K because I am always late, if not absent and for the second time, I got the lowest pay in my group. This time, I have to do better because my third pay will be a day before my birthday. Yehey!!!

I don't have classes anymore and I'm sure as the sun will come that I'm going to fail several of my subjects (fingers crossed) AGAIN. I'll be with Silversoul again tomorrow. And hopefully, me and the gang could already get to do the recording and the pictorial (for our website) so I could finally tell them what I should, before I meet with Mench (finally) later in the night.