twelve days rail
Friday, September 02, 2005 @ 1:52 PM 0 comments

My sister is in seventh heaven. She has been going out with a childhood crush for a few weeks now after she finally ended her almost 5-year relationship with John. Though I've never really approved of him before, I can't help feeling sorry for John. He's already 31 and probably thinking about settling down with Annalyn but due to his lack of sense of independence and other unresolved matters, my sister had to make the decision, and though she's not closing her doors in true finality for him, I think that, basing on how she frequently asks me if she looks happy right now (I asked her to ask me without smiling), it will take a very long time if they will ever be together again.

A few days ago, I went to work feeling odd. I had the feeling that something wrong's gonna happen that night. I was on the last chapters of the Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince and albeit Julius tried to spoil Hogwarts again by telling me who's gonna die after I called him up during my break, it didn't stop me for feeling bad about it just the same. It has been a long time since the last time that a book has moved me, and if I didn't remember that I was finishing the book on the stairs of a bank entrance in Guadalupe at 3:00 am in the morning, I could've cried with Harry when Dumbledore died.

I have been denied my supposedly first quarterly bonus. My supervisor accounts it to my failure to reach the 80 percent grade in my scorecard. He showed me that I missed by one percent and it's a little bit frustrating that though I trying to work for eight hours for a couple of times now, I'm still the lowest paid in my team.

Some people are thinking that I should make a choice if I should stay with Mench or I try it out again with Shiela (she's in Cebu right now with her family so my life had been relatively peaceful here in Manila for the past fortnight). I know this is a crossroad, and I don't know which better path to take. After a few days of thinking hard, I gave up and now I'm letting things happen as it is. I don't want to push myself in making a decision if I'm not sure where it's going to take me. I've had my share of mistakes, and actually most of my decisions proved to be mistakes in the end, and I'm fed up with that. And as the old saying goes "Not everything that can make you happy is right for you", I'm trying to face life as it comes to me now, leaving everything to fate like I always did.



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