New term in school starts on January 2. I'm wondering what made me decide to come home with Lael and Hansel when it won't have mattered if I stayed in Bicol until the new year. And as a matter of fact, the registrar's office will not be opened before the classes start so it would be useless even if I have already been able to raise the amount, I would still be a late enrollee.

I'm still about nine thousand pesos short and the remaining balance is for myself to produce. Mama have already given me her ATM card and with all the things that happened recently, she already have much to think about without worrying about me.

Going back home yesterday, I was surprised that I felt optimistic that I would be able to raise the money but with the seemingly unlikely help from my father and my emails to my sister left unanswered, I'm feeling half-hearted. I also don't want Timmy to worry about me anymore. She's already done so much for me and as I hate to admit, three thousand of the money I have in hand was already from her. I knew things would have been easier if I hadn't resigned from my job. I just wanted to give my school more time, but now I feel like I need to go back to working again. I'm beginning to wonder where the hell that optimism came from in the first place when this is the time I needed it more.